Problems are inevitable in any marriage. However, cheating in marriage can be considered as the most devastating and complex crisis that a relationship can experience, and statistical data show that it happens frequently. One thing that should be understood is that cheating does not necessarily mean the end of a relationship.
Have You Cheated?
So you cheated on your partner and got away with but you now feel genuine sorrow over your actions and you want to rebuild your relationship. It is never a good idea to carry the guilt around with you because you will only feel worse each time you get together with the person you cheated on. Your best bet would be to sit down and talk with your partner and confess what you did. Your partner will get angry and possibly end the relationship but at least you have the integrity to admit you were wrong in your actions.
Do Not Make Excuses or Blame Your Partner
It may be easy to make lame excuses why you cheated but if you want to restore your partner’s trust in the relationship, the last thing you want to do is not accept responsibility for your actions. Tell your partner that you made a wrong and selfish decision and that you love your partner. Mention that you are interested in working the problems out and you should acknowledge the fact that it will take a long time before things improve.
Give Your Partner Space If Necessary
Your partner will be upset at you when you confess to cheating so it would be a good idea to give him or her space so the partner can work through the emotions of the situation and decide if the relationship is worth saving. During this time do not call, text or e-mail your partner. Use the separation as a time to think about what caused the cheating and if there were problems in the relationship before the cheating began.
End Your Relationship With The Person You Cheated With
It’s not enough to apologize and say that the cheating will not happen again. You need action behind the promise and one way to do this is to cut off ties with the person you cheated with. The other person must know that you do not want to continue with the cheating. Delete her e-mail address and phone number from your contact list and do not go to places he or she frequents.
Seek Counseling if You Intend to Marry Your Partner
If your partner is your fiancé, you should get counseling before walking down the aisle because your partner may have doubts about your trustworthiness after the betrayal. Discuss the issues in your relationship and listen carefully to the counselor’s suggestions. If he suggests that the two of you not marry based on your current problems, take heed because marriage is a lifetime commitment and you need to be sure that you can be faithful in the marriage.
Prove That You’ve Changed
If you’re going to be late for an evening out with your partner, let him or her know so the partner will not wonder if you are turning back to your old ways. Spend time with your partner and communicate as often as possible. If you have certain needs from your partner, tell him or her what those needs are and allow your partner to discuss his or her needs.
You May Have to Accept That It’s Over
In some cases where cheating is involved, the betrayed partner will end the relationship. If this is your situation, accept this reality and instead learn from your experience. Do not try to win your partner back. Realize that cheating is wrong and treat your next partner with respect.
Examine What You Want In a Relationship
In order to have a healthy relationship in the future, you need to decide what you want in a relationship. If you prefer someone who takes care of him or herself physically, look for this quality in the next person. If you are more interested in a platonic friendship, choose someone who wants the same time.
If you cheated on your partner, it does not mean that the relationship is over if the both of you want to work the problems out. If you love your partner, you want to make sure you do what is necessary to earn his or her trust.