Sexual health and pleasure are a part of life. We all want to have a fulfilling life both outside and inside the bedroom. An orgasm is the crucial pleasure point in which an individual feels the rush and release that comes with sexual interaction. It is, in essence, the goal of what an individual is reaching for when there is sexual stimulation taking place.

For many, this activity is not easily completed and individuals can really need help in achieving their orgasmic goals. For that reason, the following list has been compiled and examines 5 ways to have better intimacy and orgasms. Use this as you try and attempt to get the pleasure you need from your body and your sexual experiences.

Relaxation

One of the best things a woman can do is to really relax in the bedroom. The problem with intimacy often occurs when a woman has stressed herself out and cannot relax enough to reach her peak. For that reason, she will stress and block out the desires and the ability to orgasm thoroughly. For that reason, rather than allowing your mind to wonder to other things, a woman, and a man, too, should actually relax their mind and body and embrace the pleasure that is all about intimacy.

To do this more efficiently, you may want to practice sexual stimulation manually and individually before you join another in the bedroom. This can help to ease nerves and allow for full attention to the act at hand. It will also allow you to know the pleasure that can happen when you are stimulated to the point of orgasm.

Confidence

Part of being able to relax and enjoy the sexual pleasure that you will endure is to be confident in yourself. Try relaxing, of course, but try also loving yourself. Gain the confidence and self-esteem you need to help you relax in the bedroom and know what will be coming your way if you do just that. You will be greatly and intimately rewarded if you are comfortable with your body and what it has to offer another person in the way of sexual pleasure.

Self Pleasure

Self Pleasure (Masturbation) is a good key to understanding what your body needs and how it is pleasured appropriately. You are your own best advocate in life and you should know what it is that turns you on. This can be important because it allows you to know what works and what does not. It can also train your body to enjoy and embrace the passion that comes with making love. You will find that you know more information about yourself and enjoy the process. Self pleasure can be intimidating, especially for women, however, it can be an important part of understanding what our bodies need to function and have an effective and fulfilling climax. Try taking the time to go on a date with yourself. This may seem ridiculous but treating yourself to a massage, candlelight bath, or another intimate moment prior to attempting to masturbate. This can greatly help to relax the mind and body and allow you to embrace the body that you have been given and the pleasure it can experience.

One of the greatest ways to achieve an orgasm with your partner is to explain to him or her what you need. Masturbation can teach you what your body needs to respond and your partner can take that knowledge and use it to make you reach that orgasm. You have to take pride in your body and respect that you may achieve an orgasm in a certain way. You may not reach it in the same way other people do. For that reason, try and find out what you need and inform your partner. This will leave them satisfied that they are helping you achieve your goal and you pleasured to the point that you need. For this reason, try telling your partner in a direct but gentle way what it is you need to get your orgasm.

Exercises

For women, one great way to have an orgasm and make it last longer is to do the Kegel exercise which strengthen the pelvic floor. This can help a woman to achieve an orgasm because it allows your body to really respond and gain the control it needs to have a long and good orgasm. Further, it can actually strengthen the intensity of an orgasm as well. Do your Kegel exercises regularly and you will find that you have all you need to have that long lasting and intense orgasm that you need.

Now You Know

Now you know the ways in which you can achieve a tremendous orgasm. You are in charge of your body and these 5 ways to have better intimacy will get you achieving it more quickly! Use the ones that you feel comfortable with and include them in your daily routine. Further, make sure that you, no matter what you choose to do, are safe in your sexual practices.

Ensure that you use protection and keep yourself safe so that you can have sexual satisfaction safely. Talk to your gynecologist or healthcare provider if you are struggling with orgasms and they, too, can help with ensuring that you get the pleasure you need as well as make sure that a medical condition is not to blame for your problems. This, again, ensures health and safety as you strive for your perfect orgasm.

Having a “bad sex life” means different things to different people. Couples who are fumbling in bed and do not communicate well, those who are matched with someone who has a much higher or lower sex drive, or those who do not have sex with their partner at all anymore are some examples.

What are the Causes of a Bad Sex Life?

Limited Knowledge

When you were taught about sex, if you were, it was likely the biological basics and you probably learned that in a sexual education class. No one asked questions in those classes because they were too embarrassed to. If your parents gave you the basics, chances are you were going to get away from the kitchen table as fast as you could.

Warped Perception

Movies, magazines, and books influenced your ideas about sex as you were growing up. Everything was portrayed as a perfect romantic encounter in the media you watched and read. Nothing was ever mentioned about the work it takes to keep you and your partner satisfied year after year. Everyone just assumed the magic would happen all by itself.

Limited knowledge and warped perception follows you into adulthood. If you are not open to intimate learning experiences, your sex life will not thrive. One issue is the lack of attention to physical needs. That is a two way street. You cannot expect your partner to know what you want if you do not communicate.

Something else that contributes is the level of comfort in your relationship. You settle into a routine during your day to day lives and your sex life often follows the same predictable pattern. The need to woo your partner is no longer felt because you are already with them. You also may not tell your partner how you feel about them. You have said it all before.

Lack of Emotional Intimacy

If you are in a relationship where sexual expectations are not met, it can drive a wedge between the two of you. A big part of sex is the intimacy it creates. The link between physical and emotional intimacy is undeniable. When your sexual needs do not match those of your partner, that closeness is lost. As a result, you become apathetic and may reach a point where you do not even have sex anymore.

Higher Stress Levels

If you have a bad sex life, your stress level is going to increase. High stress levels contribute to obesity, high blood pressure and depression, which are serious health issues. Higher stress levels mean you are likely to be easily overwhelmed or angered. That can affect your career and the amount of positive interaction you have with your family.

Health Implications

Lack of sexual intimacy has been found to affect health in a few different ways. Doctors doing clinical research have found that people who have had heart attacks indicated a high level of unhappiness with their sex life before the event.

Other clinical studies have found links between sexual fulfillment and the incidence and severity of migraines and premenstrual syndrome. The endorphins released during sex have also been shown to reduce pain in both men and women, even in cases of chronic arthritis.

Resentment

If you and your partner have very different sexual needs, it can be a difficult road. If you cannot meet in the middle and come up with a system of conscious give and take, resentment on one side or the other will build. You may even get to the point where you are not even communicating about it anymore. That lack of communication will seep into every other aspect of your lives together and impact your relationship in a very negative way.

Depression

If your sex life is bad or you and your partner are not having sex much at all, you can feel frustrated, neglected, and angry. These feelings can draw you straight into depression. You may start to ask yourself if the person you love is no longer attracted to you, if you are doing something wrong, or if you are bad in bed. The cycle of depression will further affect your sex life and then becomes a horrible cycle.

Decline of Non-Sexual Intimacy

People have to be touched in order to maintain a healthy psychological state. Once you are no longer touching in bed, it can move into other areas. You may find yourself unable to connect with your partner by touching his or her arm during conversation or have a difficult time communicating with any level of thoughtfulness and kindness.

Solutions

If your sex life is bad, it is time to light the spark again. That does not mean you should jump right into bed. Take the kids to grandma’s house for the night and spend time reconnecting with your lover. Have a relaxing dinner, curl up on the couch together, and watch a movie.

Let your guard down. If your sex life has been on a steady decline, you may be hurt, angry, or carry resentment. Start communicating with your partner, but do not do so in an accusatory tone. Just talk. Ask them what they need and talk about what you need as well. You should be assertive, but remain sensitive at the same time.

If you feel you cannot communicate effectively with your partner, consider seeing a sex therapist. They have seen and heard everything and can help you get back to a great sex life.

Orgasms feel differently for different people. There is really no way to know exactly what an orgasm will feel like for you until you have figured out what sex and orgasms are like for you. Usually as you go through the sex process you will know notice a change in the feeling in your sexual organs. You will feel a slow build of excitement and tingling that usually increases. This will not always lead to climax or an official orgasm. Many people don’t really know what an orgasm feels like until they really feel the first one.

Explosive Tingling Sensation

Many people would describe an orgasm as an explosive tingling sensation. Think of it as your foot waking back up after having been asleep. It is a painful tickling that is very intense. This feeling is that much stronger as it is in the very sensitive area of your sex organs. This is also the description of what sex feels like as a whole. To get to complete orgasm there is an actual “release.” This means this tingling reaches an intense climax until it finally suddenly stops in an overwhelming feeling of pleasure.

The Mind Meld

As the orgasm completes you find yourself experiencing a complete release of your brain as well. The feeling can be accompanied by seeing a set of bright colors or lights. Other people don’t have any kind of visual stimulation but rather there mind completely goes blank as the process completes. This releases a series of endorphins that flood your brain with a sense of happiness to accompany the actual feeling of tingling and pleasure. This is why orgasm is often considered the most pleasing moment possible for the human experience.

Why are there Orgasms?

The positive feeling of sex is meant to make sure that people and animals breed. Sex is meant to feel better than anything else you can imagine in order to ensure that people continue to have sex in order to procreate. The way nature makes certain the population of various animals continues to thrive is to make sure the sex act continues to happen. Orgasm for the man typically means spreading his seed within the female sex organ. A female orgasm releases a substance that makes the environment more favorable for the egg and the sperm to be able to join successfully. While pregnancy often happens without female orgasm, if a female can obtain climax it is often easier to get pregnant.

Why Are Female Orgasms Harder?

In general, the female anatomy is a bit more complicated than the external anatomy of the male. Females have very different things that set them off while the general mechanism for pleasing a man is quite simple. While females find sex enjoyable, certainly, the overall climax is not always easily reached. The other part of the problem is that a female does not have to reach climax in order to procreate while a male does. This means nature has made the climax easier for the man to ensure proper reproduction. Males can also “force” their seed on females so it is not imperative for a female to even derive pleasure from the act from a purely scientific standpoint. This is why testosterone is often a much stronger and limiting hormone.

Orgasm Recognition

You could potentially walk through your whole life without knowing what your orgasm feels like if you are a woman. As a man, you can typically work with yourself to reach climax and then you know what it feels like as there is ejaculation to prove you have reached climax. For women, you are much more likely to obtain orgasm if you do masturbate and know what feels right for you. This allows you to give direction to your sexual partners in order to make sure you are pleased. You may require internal and external stimulation in and around the vagina in order to reach full orgasm.

Getting Ready

Women usually need some prep time before sex can begin. In order for this to happen a bit of a pre-orgasm can secrete liquids that make sex easier. This provides a smoother type of friction that allows the female to enjoy the process as much as the man. The warm nature of the act also makes it more conducive for the life of the sperm. It gives them the chance to make it all the way to the egg and penetrate. Some women find it easier to reach orgasm before even having full sex so then they can concentrate on the man during the standard sex act. What you want to do to obtain orgasm is an entirely personal decision.

Orgasms are the most pleasurable feeling you will likely encounter in your lifetime. When you figure out how to get there, you might find your can build a stronger orgasm response as time goes on. Sex is always a fun act that leads to some sort of tingling, happy feeling both in your body and in your brain. Overall the orgasm is your body’s personal response to pleasure so expect it to be as unique as you are. Your response might be to close your eyes and revel in the moment or to scream out in utter joy. Whatever your response, you are sure to be happy.

The importance of foreplay in your marriage has much to do with staying connected with your partner. The longer you are married the easier it is to get caught up in everything happening in the world around you. When you are dating, effort goes into sex and spending time together whereas you can easily begin to take each other for granted. The busier your life is, the easier it is to fall out of the habit of making the effort when it comes to sex and foreplay.

Keeping the Romance Alive

Foreplay is a big part of romance. When time is limited, couples often begin just rushing to sex and through sex. This makes the overall process less satisfying and can leave each party less and less willing to expend the time and energy having sex. If you work at foreplay you can build romance back into the sex process. This leaves both parties with a sense of longing and a more lasting loving feeling after the sex act is complete. This type of foreplay often results in having sex more often.

Making Sure Things Stay Interesting

Foreplay can be a way to spice up and otherwise mundane activity. While sex is not rally considered “mundane,” when you can have it any time you want with the same person it is not as much of a challenge. Foreplay adds the challenge back into the game of sex and brings the fun back to the sexual experience. You don’t have to be totally nutty, but you can bring a level of fun and joy to the sex act that keeps you thinking about new and interesting things. This provides you with constant variety in your marriage.

Helping to Make the Moments Special

Foreplay can really make moments special. Taking the time to really stimulate your partner before you begin makes sex memorable. Instead of just being the same as the million other times you have had sex, you will leave a lasting impression. Small tickling or teasing activities heighten the senses and make the overall experience more intense. This experience helps to build a sense of purpose to sex and makes it an complete satisfaction rather than just fulfilling the base animal need for sex.

Looking Forward to an Event

When you plan foreplay you can make sex more of an event. You can pair this with a night out or other romantic activity to give you something to look forward to. This can build a sense of anticipation in the marriage. The build up to the event allows an opportunity for both spouses to come up with ideas and thoughts of how to deepen the connection. Research can be done and it can be a fun couple activity even before you have any foreplay or sex. This makes the activity even more worth the effort as the overall pleasurable feeling lasts for days rather than just minutes.

Keeping the Intimacy Intact

Sex elevates your relationship beyond a partnership. Sex is a way to open your soul to one another and gives you a way to put the woes of the world out of your mind in order to really connect with one another. Foreplay is a big part of this intimacy. The lead in and the connection you feel helps you understand one another and be more forgiving when back in the real world. It can solidify your connection and commitment to one another so you work as a team when dealing with children or other trying circumstances.

Finding a Way to Connect

Foreplay can be a way to reconnect with your sexuality if you have reached a lull. Sometimes sexual appetite in a marriage will wane and instead of forcing just sex, building a foreplay scenario can help to encourage and entice the partners into sex. This way of connecting can help you rekindle the sex part of your marriage and build a stronger bond between you and your partner. Foreplay takes time, effort and energy. This helps to show how committed you are, something that is easy to forget when you have been married for a long time. As you fall into habits, the time for connecting gets lost and foreplay can help you get there again.

Staying Power for the Long Term

Sex is important for the long term health of your marriage. Temptations are all around you and if you are not fulfilled at home, it is easier to give in to such temptation. The more intimate you are with your spouse, the more guilt you would feel about doing anything you would later regret. Your mind immediately goes to all the negatives of giving in to such a whim and helps you stay on the right track. While you can never quell all sexual impulses you can definitely control them with real intimacy.

Overall foreplay really helps keep you interested in sex even when you may be getting bored. You have to know that sexual appetite will often change because of hormones, activities and other outside factors, but you can use foreplay to reignite the flame and keep your sex life alive and well. Keeping “in love” takes work, effort and commitment. Foreplay makes this commitment easier to accomplish and reminds you often why you are in love and why you are working together as a team in life.

To understand premature ejaculation, it is best to clearly define it. Premature ejaculation is when a man does not have voluntary control or the ability to choose, in most encounters, when to ejaculate. However, due to popular culture and easy access pornography, the status quo for sexually pleasing a woman has many men thinking they need to last 20 minutes to half an hour. This unfortunately leaves man men feeling sexually inadequate. The physiological effect can be detrimental to a relationship. Often times, females want to feel deep levels of romance and intimacy. When men are overly concerned about their performance they can become robotic, constantly working on “technique” or “strategy” while failing to pay attention to their partner.

Healthy Practice:

In order to have a healthy sexual relationship, it is important that men are able to last long enough to have a deeply intimate experience with their partner. If you find yourself reaching orgasm before your partner more than 50% of the time, we have a few tips that can help you have more fulfilling sexual encounters. If you do suffer from premature ejaculation, it is important that you have a partner who you are comfortable talking too. It is helpful to work on your ejaculatory control with a partner who has full knowledge of what is going on and who agrees to help, identify and solve the issue.

It is hard to work on PE during a random “1 nighter” since there is so much lust and excitement in the air. Even a man who has very few encounters with PE can tense up and evoke the ejaculatory response too soon.

Relaxation:

Relaxation, or more specifically physiological relaxation, is key to PE control. Maintaining a full relation during a sexual encounter keeps the heart rate under control (low), keeps muscles from tensing up and prevents blood flow restriction. A great technique to try is to relax the buttocks a soon as you feel aroused or while involved in the act of sex. Tense butt cheeks are the first sign that the body is too tense. If one area of the body is tense, the mind is tense and the ejaculatory response could be right around the corner.

It is important to maintain a good even breathing pattern to maintain an even heart rate and consistent blood flow. All too often, men get excited and forget to breath. Concentrating on the moment and deep breathing will make sex for you and your partner much better. Plus, when she hears you breathing deeply and really enjoying yourself, she will be much more into the moment. Referring back to the beginning of the article, this will make her feel the intimacy and romance and lead to a quicker orgasm for her.

Ejaculatory Inevitability:

Ejaculatory inevitability is the metaphorical point of no return. It’s the point of inevitability when a man will orgasm. Even if your great aunt walks in, the orgasm will still occur. When it comes to PE control, it is important that men recognize when ejaculatory inevitability is approaching. As the point approaches, if your partner has yet to orgasm, kiss her on the neck or start to passionately make out with her. Move the intense sensation to another part of the body and away from the tip of the penis. Let the pleasure of the moment engulf the whole body. This is known as excitement saturation. Relax and the urge to orgasm will slowly pass.

Men who are most successful at controlling PE, are able to enjoy sex as several waves of intense excitement without reaching a full orgasm. They slowly build toward an ultimate climax that is very powerful and enjoyable.

PE is not about avoiding the feeling and pleasure of sex. A better strategy is to spread the pleasure of sex around the whole body. If you try to think about negative experiences or “saying the alphabet backwards” you are not going to fully enjoy the sexual experience. To nurture their sexual health, men must also experience great sex. Cheating yourself to please your partner is a short term solution and will lead to frustration and a lack of intimacy. Saturating the mind and body with an extreme level of satisfaction will increase the passion in your relationship, make your partner orgasm more often and give men the confidence they need to maintain sexual health and ejaculatory control.